The moon and the stars are casting a heavenly glow down on the slumbering city at night, Such a peaceful night, It gives me a false sense of hope and security. Because ones i close my eyes again, those bittersweet dreams will appear. Its like a broken records playing over and over again in my mind. I lay my head down and say a silent pray. I pray to god to take away the pain that i held on to for years. I drift to sleep…
Closing my eyes . I dream of the improbable, idream of finding you. I cry out into the darkness,out of regret,out of longing for the way things were. Too late I guess huh? I reckon it already is. That’s why i love dreams…because even if its just for a moment,before I open i my eyes, I am able to see you again. I always wake up in the middle of the night with an unbearable ache emanating from my heart. It’s an ache that comes from loss. These dreams are painful. They’re always the same, I find you, I chase you,I lose you-you’re gone. I wake up I cry. I ask myself why. This has been going on for as long as I can remember. All they just serve to do is remind me of what I have lost,what I can never get back. How could I lose something I never had? Here I am, i am running alone all in the midnight sky. Hoping and praying with all my might,that we will meet again. But I am just chasing after your memory…not you,no . My memory of you is slowly dying,and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. Sooner or later I won’t be able to remember anything anymore. That’s what scares me. That those memories I’ve spent years trying to protect and defend, will be long forgotten.
They will dissolve into the back of my mind. This mirage of you,faint image of you . It appears in front of me.
Every time I try to get closer,you simply disappear. I keep on running and running,but the dream always ends the same. I am just wasting my breath and energy, If i think things could ever truly change. I don’t want to give up this endless dream or wasteful search. Somewhere deep down inside of me,that tiny bit of hope that use to burn so brightly is suddenly going to die. I am afraid of opening my eyes again. I want to stay like this.
I want to stay in this dream. I don’t want to wake up and face reality. I am afraid of closing my eyes,and opening them again. I am afraid of time escaping my hands. I don’t want the world to move on without me.
So peaceful,in this dream anything is possible. Even if its just a dream, You return to my life isn’t improbable like it is in the waking world. So I am stuck searching for what isn’t lost but can’t be found. Running till find you again. Even though all hope has died. These are the dreams that consume me,night after night.
Thankyou for reading .